My aunt cancelled me
I may not be using the term ‘cancelled’ correctly but I do feel like my aunt cancelled me. Damn that social media!!
Reading about cancel culture, it is defined as “a modern form of ostracism in which someone is thrust out of social or professional circles — whether it be online, on social media, or in person. Those subject to this ostracism are said to have been “cancelled””. While I haven’t been ostracized from any social or professional circles my aunt has cancelled me from her life.
I love my aunt. She is one of those people who’s always there when needed. Someone who is great in a family crisis and knows what to do. She has a great sense of humor and is always up for a laugh. She really cares about people.
Living on the other side of the world from my family, using social media has been necessary for keeping connected with my friends and family. Without it, it would be so much harder to be so far away. As I’ve gotten older I’ve developed a set of rules for how I use social media. I use it for keeping in contact with family and friends. When that person, who shall not be named, was US president, I wouldn’t post anything about him on my social media. There was already enough about him on daily news feeds, I didn’t need to fill mine with more. I keep my social media use limited to a couple of sites. I follow family and friends and the odd personality but I keep it minimal.
In this COVID world we are living in and the polarized arguments for and against vaccines, I’ve deliberately stayed away from the debate. When it comes to vaccines, I’ve always believed that it is an individuals choice, the only thing I say to people is, make it an informed decision whether or not you get vaccinated. I myself am vaccinated and I’m glad I did it but it is not my business to tell people they should or shouldn’t get vaccinated. The risk of being vaccinated or not vaccinated is something people have to weigh up for themselves.
This is where things came unstuck with my aunt. She is a big anti-vaxxer. Her posts were constantly about how terrible the vaccine is. It was constant. No posts of family or what she was doing, just the evils of vaccination. At the start I ignored the posts but some of the headlines were just too weird to ignore. Things like, the COVID vaccine will strip your DNA etc., etc. I’m all for hearing both sides of the debate but when it is so unbalanced I can’t help myself, I have to counter the information. I also recognize the environment my aunt is living in, which is very different from mine, in Toronto. She is in small town New Zealand, the place of ‘milk and honey’, where we all long to be during the pandemic. Her town has never had a COVID case, she doesn’t know anyone who has had COVID or worse, know someone who has died from COVID, like I do. She was openly telling people not to get vaccinated, going over her children to tell her grandchildren not to get vaccinated.
For me that line was continually crossed and in the end I told her so. It may have been too strong and that’s the down side of the written word and social media, you may not see the intent behind it but seriously, just stop with all the anti-vax propaganda!! I get it, you are anti-vaccination, okay, but stop hitting me over the head with it. And that was it, I was blocked, cancelled!
The plus side is I know longer have to see all the antivax posts etc. but I have lost my aunt. The one thing I have really come to understand in life is that my political views, social views, vaccination views or whatever views I have mean less than the relationships I have in my life.
Relationships with family and friends mean more to me but so much in our lives has become politicized, it’s hard not to surround ourselves with people who think and feel the same way we do.
It’s just so much easier but the danger of doing this is we may lose the relationships and the friendships of those we love and fail to hear a different opinion or see a different way of doing things.
